Brian Hooper
The Last Real Man
The Songs
The Last Real Man
©Brian Hooper 2007
Caught out by Bogart, the coolest of all,
If I were like him I'd have Lauren Bacall,
My name up in lights and my face on the wall
With the smoke drifting up from a cigarette held in my hand.
I'm the last real man, the last real man,
Out in the shelter, taking my stand, the last real man.
Regan and Carter, they knew how to cop,
No-nonsense heroes, the cream of the crop;
When Regan was out he sent Carter to shop
'Cause he needed a drink and a cigarette held in his hand.
I'm the last real man, the last real man,
Out in the shelter, taking my stand, the last real man.
Back in the wartime they gave out the smokes
To thousands on thousands of ordinary blokes
Who fought for our freedom, just one of the jokes
History plays, but don't laugh, I've a cigarette held in my hand.
I'm the last real man, the last real man,
Out in the shelter, taking my stand, the last real man.
Take all your health warnings, nanny-state rules
For the guidance of wise men, obedience of fools,
And teach them in safe, high-security schools,
But I'll still be out here with a cigarette held in my hand.
I'm the last real man, the last real man,
Out in the shelter, taking my stand, the last real man.
If I were like him I'd have Lauren Bacall,
My name up in lights and my face on the wall
With the smoke drifting up from a cigarette held in my hand.
I'm the last real man, the last real man,
Out in the shelter, taking my stand, the last real man.
Regan and Carter, they knew how to cop,
No-nonsense heroes, the cream of the crop;
When Regan was out he sent Carter to shop
'Cause he needed a drink and a cigarette held in his hand.
I'm the last real man, the last real man,
Out in the shelter, taking my stand, the last real man.
Back in the wartime they gave out the smokes
To thousands on thousands of ordinary blokes
Who fought for our freedom, just one of the jokes
History plays, but don't laugh, I've a cigarette held in my hand.
I'm the last real man, the last real man,
Out in the shelter, taking my stand, the last real man.
Take all your health warnings, nanny-state rules
For the guidance of wise men, obedience of fools,
And teach them in safe, high-security schools,
But I'll still be out here with a cigarette held in my hand.
I'm the last real man, the last real man,
Out in the shelter, taking my stand, the last real man.
Another song about tobacco. The smoking ban in pubs has created a new link between being tough and smoking. The law of unintended consequences still hasn't been repealed!